Friday, November 23, 2007

Reflections on FirstThanksgiving

First it was my son-in-law who asked what I was doing for Thanksgiving. Then my son asked. And my daughter by email. And a friend here and there. My cousin sent an email.

It made me a little angry actually. I did not want to be reminded that this was the first one since Dad died.

It is my children's first ever Thanksgiving to miss coming to the farm entirely. And I am their father and their children's grandfather. It is my brother's first as well and he and his family spent it alone except for his mom-in-law.

I went to Judy's mom's. It makes me feel a little traitorous. I know my family needs me. It was like the funeral though. I did not want to plan it or do it. My brother stepped in for me. I had no stomach for Thanksgiving this year. (That's kind of funny) In past years the event at Judy's mom's has been huge. Thankfully yesterday's was very small. I did not want many people around.

So I am glad it is over now. I wish Christmas had also come and gone.

I was talking to the Lord about how I feel. In the 25 years now that I have talked to Him I have learned it is pointless to hide anything. He already knows. And I know that He understands. That is comforting somehow.

He told me that next year will be a new beginning.

I was thinking how emotional the week has been: First Thanksgiving on top of buying a new home and about a dozen other things anyone of which could be considered life changing on its own.

I read that 132 million Americans will shop today. About 1/3 of them apparently decided to come to the Kohl's and Penney's near dad's house. Both opened at 4 AM.

Going to exercise now.

7 comments:

~Betsy said...

This year of firsts will be a challenge to us all. At least you are in touch with your feelings and could talk to God about them.

This whole Black Friday thing gets on my nerves. We have an outlet mall about an hours drive north from here. They opened at midnight. Lindsay is a store manager for a clothing store in Colorado. She told me the sales are the same on Black Friday as she had already marked the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.

I will be glad when the holidays are over, too.

nancy said...

i'm so happy that God assured you that next year will be a new beginning. Thanksgiving was very nice, i just wish i could skip Christmas.....

Lori1955 said...

Oh Terry I do understand. I can't wait for this all to be over. I am miserable but i do know how to put on a happy face and that's exactly what I did yesterday.

Chris said...

It's discouraging the way Christmas has become. Black Friday, shopping, knocking people over for the prized merchandise, ect. The reason for the season has been lost. I am really hoping to find it this year, of all years.

dave said...

Today was "spend no money" day for me.
Going to visit my daughter is enough spending for a bit. I get great solace from my children and grand children, but I am ready to go home now.
We still enjoy holidays with family, Miriam looks forward too. I am saddened that your place will be my place soon.

SKYGIRL said...

Hey Terry. No sooner did I start a bew thread on the AD Caregiver Board on "Firsts" then I saw your post.

I am so glad you can be angry & even 'miffed' with God, but never stop believing? Allot of people do?

I have always considered my Mom as kind of the pied piper of Church. She has brought more people back after 20-30 Years, of not attending, usually from the loss of a life-time spouse.

I find it interesting that you resented people trying to 'help' you through. I guess that is why I started that thread. Go to www.adcaregiver.com then to the Index, then Death & Dying, and then to "Firsts" I'd like to hear what yo have to say about it.

I still may buy that camera tomorrow, if they are still on sale. I want to show you pic's of the new development, it turned out so nicely, and maybe give you some ideas.

Joanne D. Kiggins said...

I'm happy you made it through Thanksgiving and totally understand the anger you felt. It'a a naturally feeling for many of us, I'm sure.

As for the shoppers, I wouldn't go near a store on Black Friday if someone paid me. LOL