Monday, August 13, 2007

What's In A Name

I started this on Sunday and now finishing it early Monday morning. Sorry for all the words - kind of got away from me.

It is just before 5 AM Sunday (8/12/07) morning. I have just finished changing dad and decided to blog a few minutes which now is the better part of an hour. Is blogging really a good thing?

Suddenly Dad hollers out my name.

My heart leaps to hear him say my name. And because it is so sudden and unexpected it frightens me a bit. I rush to him but all is fine and I kiss his forehead and tell him I love him and everything is alright.

Then I think about the pleasure, the exhilaration really, that comes from knowing that he still knows my name.

I cannot help but think that The Lord knows my name. That is too wonderful to imagine that I am such a tiny, insignificant part of His creation and yet He knows my name.

Afterwards I went to the exercise room and got in 70 minutes total on the treadmill and the elliptical machine. I hit 700 calories for the first time this cycle. That's really good for me.

Dad still could not feed himself this morning but he did eat and seemed to have more appetite. His left hand still seemed better than his right. I decided I could go to church so got ready. Dad wouldn't let me change him before I left. He clutched the covers with both hands and held on for dear life. I instructed my aide about lunch and headed out.

Returned about 1:15. Aide had been unable to feed him and reported that he slept the entire time I was gone. I woke him and got him changed. He was much improved and could keep himself erect although I had to help him stand. He was able to shuffle to the recliner with my help.

He was able to hold the spoon with his right hand after I helped him find it. He was pretty shaky but he wanted to do it himself. Took a while, too, but I know he wants to do for himself as long as he can. It is one of those things that would be easier for me to do. He could hold the Dixie cup with his left too.

He wanted back in bed as soon as he finished and I helped him. He was out soon after. It is amazing to me how much he is sleeping.

He refused anything else at supper so I waited a couple of hours and finally got him to eat some low sugar ice cream, applesauce, and some juice. His right hand would not cooperate at all. I fed him.

At bedtime I kissed his forehead and told him I loved him. And he said "I love you, too." Melted my heart. I believe that's the first time I've heard that.


redcedar said...

In answer to your question: Yes, blogging is a good thing. At least YOUR blogging is a good thing. I find the very detailed ongoing chronicle of your life with your father to be a help to me in going through the days taking care of my elderly parents (father ALZ, mother now under hospice care with COPD, etc.).

Reading your daily journal makes me feel less alone, and for some reason conveys a certain calm about it all, even though the things we go through are sometimes anything but calm.

I thank you for writing, and I'm sure your other readers feel the same.

nancy said...

i agree, blogging is a good thing and i SO enjoy yours i would be devastated if you would stop, so please don't.

glad to hear your dad is a little stronger. it is my guess that your dad had a brain bleed. his symptoms sound so similar to my dad's when he had his 2 major ones.

i can also relate to the jubilation you felt when your dad called out your name. russ has done that to me, maybe twice in the last year, and the times that he did, well, it brought such joy and a smile to my face.

i am still fortunate that russ has been able to tell me that he loves me. i think that is what makes this all worth while. i don't look forward to the day that that stops.

hope you both have a good day!

~Betsy said...

I also agree - I really look forward to your blogs. You have a certain calmness about your words. It really does help bring peace to me.

How wonderful your dad told you he loves you, too. I'm sure you have known this all along, but it certainly is nice to hear those words.

Stay strong, friend. I'll say it again - you are a wonderful son.