Monday, September 24, 2007

Tired and Surprisingly Busy

Yesterday, Sunday, I not only took Judy to church but spent the day with her; took her to orchestra practice; met with my brother and the pastor who will officiate the funeral; visited Dad's body in the funeral home; and, went out to supper with Judy.

It is still so hard to get my mind around the idea that I can do these things without making arrangements for someone to stay with dad.

This morning I was so incredibly tired. I am still sleeping here at the house because my clothes are here for one thing and for another I am uncomfortable leaving things unattended. We're going to add some additional security though and Judy is supposed to be "finding" me a little space at her house.

I slept a good 9 hours which is a lot for me. Sleeping is another thing that is actually proving to require an adjustment. There is nothing to listen for. I apparently am adjusting pretty well though since I slept as long as I did.

Funerals are still quite expensive.

Everyone has some different story or stories about my dad. Usually it is stories. The pastor shared one with my brother and me yesterday evening. He was a young pastor when he came to Oklahoma City from West Virginia more than 25 years ago. He said that the second stop on his journey from the airport was to Dad's and Mom's home.

Things were not good in Oklahoma City then. The church was saddled with a great deal of debt and his first job was to manage that. A group of men of the church had formed themselves into an unofficial team to resolve the crisis. My dad was one of those men. And they did resolve the crisis. That was a story I did not know.

I thought it was very much like dad though. I do not know how many individuals and organizations he and mom helped over the years. But it would be a large number. And they never expected anything in return and almost all of their acts of generosity and benevolence were unknown except to them and the recipients.

My brother and I, just the two of us, visited this morning. We discussed how we want to proceed. We're on the same page. I'm so grateful that I have no discord within my own family and I feel so badly for those that do. Our family has just never been that way and I'm hopeful that my brother and I can pass that same ethic on to our children.

Judy and I are planning a trip. I would like to get in the car and just drive and I would do it just after the funeral if I could. But Judy has a performance next weekend so we'll leave together for somewhere afterwards. She has plans for our anniversary, too.

More really nice condolences yesterday and today from so many people. One particularly bad email today though about made my head explode from anger. But I'm calmed back down now and there is no point in thinking about it.

The preacher asked if dad had any common sayings. One saying was "You don't hit your sister" and he would most often say this when we would be watching TV and some news story would come on about a case of domestic violence. Dad would wonder out loud why the perpetrator hadn't learned better in his childhood. Apparently "you don't hit your sister" was a pretty significant lesson in his early family history. In our family you didn't hit your brother either nor did you use any derogatory names!

Dad wasn't much for movies. He would say "in the land of make believe" whenever some movie came on. He really never understood how people could be so wrapped up in fictional stories. He was definitely more practical than romantic.

I've blogged previously about his use of "dot com" and Mom's birthday.

I suspect I'll think of more as time goes on.

I am so humbled by the comments I've received and the emails from my forum and blog friends. I just want you all to know how much I appreciate you and how often I think about you and pray for you all.

Blessings to everyone tdday.


Lori1955 said...

It sounds like you are adjusting to your new found freedom. I'm glad for you. Today was the first time I went out without looking at my watch every 10 minutes so I guess I am adjusting too.
It's wonderful to hear all the stories about your dad. He is just more special than we already knew he was. I'm so happy to hear that you and your brother are on the same page with everything. We don't hear that enough. I hope you and Judy have a wonderful trip. It sounds like she has plenty planned for you two. :)

cornbread hell said...

if you and judy make it through dallas in your meanderings, i'd love to meet y'all.

nancy said...

i too have been busy planning funeral arrangements. i agree, it's so much easier when siblings can agree. i guess with me i don't have too many strong feelings one way or another. i feel i was there for him when i really felt i needed or wanted to be so my sister can handle most of the other things now.

glad to hear you slept 9 hours. i'm envious!!

steflovesnonna said...

No thank you for being my friend, and I take the other thing you said as extreme complement. I guess I just like the idea that I will eventually change and be like someone else. If not you then one of my other hero's I have met though the forum. Thanks again.

~Betsy said...

I'm with your dad on the movie thing. My family love movies - in fact, Nikki works for Blockbuster and has been promoted twice in less than a year of employment. I always made a stink if the kids watched the movie version before reading the book. The movie versions are never as good in my opinion.

I'm happy to see you are adjusting to your new found freedoms. I'm sure Judy loved being escorted all day Sunday!

You take care of yourself, Flinty. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow during the service.

Cinnamin said...

Flinty; Brighter tomorrows, my friend...You honor your Father in his life and death... May God bless you and keep you...In His time and Perfect peace. You have been in my thoughts and remain in my prayers.

Chris said...

It sounds like everything is falling into place for you and my heart rejoices in that.

Many blessings to you Flinty and for all the roads you have yet to travel with Judy:)

arutherford said...

I've been away for a few days on a nostalgic trip of remembrance for my Daddy. But, you have continued to be in my prayers.

I'm glad you're getting out and enjoying your Judy again. You have so much to look forward to and I rejoice that you will take with you many memories and attributes from your loving parents.
Peace, my friend.